


Milked Bread

by Anonymous



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bread Sex, Crack Treated Seriously, Food Kink, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:42:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29126673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “So have you ever fucked a bagel?” Tendou grinned, trying to hold back a laugh.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Milk Bread, Oikawa Tooru/Tendou Satori
Comments: 14
Kudos: 18
Collections: Anonymous





	Milked Bread

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this entirely on my phone quickly. It’s not beta read. I love you, olds. Inspired by that MDZ fic with a million tags and one of them is “bread sex” which we thought was hilarious and now here this is. If you’re reading this, I’m sorry.

Oikawa Tooru has a thing for bread. Sure, it may have started innocently around it’s taste, flavor, and fluffiness. However, when he was in high school and he didn’t have any lube, he took a leaf out of the American Pie movies. Why not? The thought of a sock was disgusting and frankly imagining it gave him second-hand rug burn. If that guy from that movie could fuck a pie, why couldn’t he fuck a loaf of his favorite milk bread?

Fresh out of the oven, when he cut off the end and rutted into its soft interior, he didn’t much care that he was lacking in lubricant. It was warm and soft. All he had to do was picture the faces of every guy he had a crush on, and there were a couple, and he could really add the milk back into his milk bread.

After he grew up, he didn’t so much need the bread anymore — he had lube now and whatever else he could just go and buy. And yet, whenever he was on a date and they had a bread basket, he always had a little smirk just thinking about it, but it never went beyond that.

So that’s why his trip to France was so surprising. When Oikawa went to Paris for work — San Juan was playing Paris Volley in an exhibition match — he had the chance to meet up with a friend, a soon-to-be chef friend, a friend who was going through culinary school. 

Sure, this friend wanted to be a chocolatier, which is why it surprised Oikawa so much when he brought up the subject of bread. But apparently in order to become a chocolatier, you had to get a Baking and Pastry Arts degree before you specialized training chocolatiering. Huh.

“Well, my favorite classes this semester are Restaurant and Production Desserts — I get to play with chocolate  a lot in it. You haven’t seen heaven until making your own chocolate ice cream.” The shaved, red head Tendou Satori wiggled his eye brows and continued, “Then there’s the Specialty Breads course, which I took because... hello, chocolate babka. But now, my apartment is filled with bread. Sourdoughs, bagels, pretzels, baguettes,” he said as he gesticulates wildly mimicking the shape of each bread type. “How do you feel about bread, Tooru-kun?” He leaned onto his elbows then, leaning forward. Still as expressive as ever.

Oikawa tried to keep his face neutral as Tendou inquired with his eyebrows. As he shrugged, Tendou blurted out while wiggling his finger, “Ne, I bet you love it.” A smile donned his face. Oikawa tried again to act nonchalant.

“Bread is bread. I try not to eat too much during the season, but I am partial to milk bread.” Oikawa flicked his hair to the side. He couldn’t give away his true feelings about bread. Not that he had those anymore. They were in the past, just a memory. Right?

“Good enough. I need to get rid of all of this bread! After this you’re coming with me,” he rubbed his hands and dug into his food, refusing to let Oikawa say no. Which is how Oikawa ended up in Tendou’s kitchen facing piles and piles of bread.

Oikawa had pretty much avoided bakeries and the bread aisle at the grocery for this reason alone. He barely ate the stuff anymore. Seeing bread here and there at dinner only really made his mind flit back to those bedroom moments for a second, but this — here and now, confronted with piles and piles of every kind of bread imaginable made his mild reel and his pants tighten.

_ God, I hope Tendou doesn’t see me like this. I need to get myself under control. _

He leaned against the counter overlooking all the bread and knew he’d made a terrible mistake. His pants only grew tighter. It was hard to breathe. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he imagined all the things he could do with the bread, the things he could do with Tendou and the bread.

Wait, he’d never thought of Tendou like this before... was it because he suddenly knew he could make glorious mounds of every kind of bread?  _Fuck_.

As Tendou worked on slicing pieces of each kind of bread and putting them on a plate, Oikawa’s eyes followed the bread knife back and forth across the bread.

_ I want that to be me. What the fuck? _ Oikawa wanted to be slicing the bread open, rubbing back and forth against it. He was so far gone, beyond help at this point. Maybe if he went to the bathroom to—

Tendou put the plate down in front of him to try his offerings — milk bread among them — as he stood across the counter from him eagerly watching. Damn, it smelled really good. It looked even better. Fluffy, bubbly, crusty. Oikawa was aroused and salivating at the same time. He hated himself.

“Something wrong, Tooru-kun?”

Cocking his head to the side, Tendou took in everything about Oikawa — how he looked a little pale and dewy, the way he rubbed his face and the back of his neck, his hunched over posture very unlike his normal beaming self. With a rag, he ran to the other side of the counter to feel Oikawa’s forehead and wipe his brow where Oikawa was hugging the counter trying to hide himself.

Oikawa tried to pull away. All that accomplished was Tendou grabbing his leg to spin the stool and get a better look at him. Damn, these spinnable stools.

And that’s when Tendou saw it. “Oh.” His now very tight pants let his erection be on full display. His embarrassment had never been higher. Now his pale face was a vibrant red.

“Yeah.” Oikawa half-covered his face.

“I didn’t know you liked me like that.” Tendou poked at the exposed part of Oikawa’s cheek to tease him, but noticeably left his other hand on Oikawa’s thigh.

“I don’t, I didn’t, I—“ Oikawa stopped himself thinking about how he would explain everything.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Tendou moved closer, inching his hand up Oikawa’s thigh.

Oikawa peeked out from behind his hand. “I should go.”

Tendou’s hand on Oikawa’s thigh stayed firm. “Why don’t you stay? You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to.” He pushed the plate of bread towards Oikawa. “Start with this?” 

Oikawa looked nervously at the bread and only seemed to get harder, making Tendou’s eyes grow. “I can guess what’s going on here,” a coy smile appeared on his lips. “How amusing!” God, he really was annoyingly good at reading people.

“Well, if you’re going to be like that, I’m leaving,” huffed Oikawa. He moved to get up, but Tendou pushed him back down on the stool.

“Ohoho, wait a minute. I think you’ll love my bread.” The baker picked up a slice putting it in Oikawa’s face. “Won’t you try it?” He pouted as he wiggled it in his friend’s face.

Tight-lipped, Oikawa turned his head. He was embarrassed enough, he didn’t need to be teased now for his long-standing bread kink that developed on accident from his idiocy in high school. His cheeks burned.

“Tooru,” Tendou elongated his name in a sing-songy kind of way, “you know you want to.” He leaned in with the bread. “It’s really fresh.”

He placed the bread at Oikawa’s lips who rolled his eyes, opened his mouth — because he actually, very much did want the bread, and yeah ok, being teased did turn him on a little bit too — and took a bite. And if he said that bread wasn’t the best god damned bread he’d ever had, he’d be lying. He didn’t even realize he let out a moan.

When he opened his eyes — because of course his eyes were closed as he savored his first bite of milk bread in years, he was having a moment, okay — Tendou had a grin on his face that could only be described as feral. “Good, huh?”

_ Fucking great.  _ The taste of the bread, the glutinous smells, the grin, the teasing — all of it made Oikawa’s gut burn. He launched himself at Tendou, locking lips and running his hands over a spiky crew cut, long neck, broad back, and strong, bread-kneading arms.

Tendou smelled like a bakery — flour, sugar and chocolate. He was warm. He kissed like he baked, with precision and passion. When he pulled away, Oikawa wanted to keep taking him in, just like the bread his body had missed.

“I didn’t know you liked bread soooo much,” he teased, kissing Oikawa on the nose and squeezing his arms.

“I just haven’t had it in a while. That’s all.” Oikawa looked down, face burning.

“Sure. Sure. Don’t worry. I’m not here to shame you or anything.” Oikawa looked up at him questioning, wondering if he really did guess about his kink.

“So have you ever fucked a bagel?” Tendou grinned, trying to hold back a laugh.

Oikawa gasped, failing to push away since Tendou held him in his arms too tightly, too securely, with too much comfort. There was no malice in his question. Just more jeering. Oikawa whacked his chest.

“So that’s a no.” Tendou was staring at his counter — at the bowl of bagels.

Oikawa’s mouth fell open. “You’re not serious!”

“Half serious. If you want to. I mean, I have to do something with all this bread, you know?” He laughed, peppering the side of Oikawa’s face with kisses as he stared at the bowl of bagels.

“Tori-chan, I haven’t,” Oikawa cleared his throat, “...done  things with bread in a long time.”

“If you don’t want—“

“Let’s just take it slow. If it’s not working...”

“Sure!” Tendou kissed Oikawa on the cheek and danced over to grab a bagel, quickly hopping back over after selecting one that looked agreeable. Oikawa fidgeted with his fingers as he stood there and looked at the bread on the plate next to him. What the fuck had he gotten himself into?

Tendou skipped back over and threw his arms around Oikawa. “Don’t worry, Tooru. This will be fun! And if it’s not, no more bread kink to worry about, ne?”

Well, Oikawa couldn’t argue with that. The logic seemed to relax him. 

Tendou’s eyes glistened when Oikawa melted into him. He really was such a character, up for anything. It’s why Oikawa always loved visiting him here when he’s in town. It was after he ran into him randomly the first time he was in town for a game that led to it happening whenever he flew in. Eating good food, shopping, taking a quick jaunt to Cannes. Maybe he really could fall for him — if a guy was so accepting of a fucking bread kink and they had such a great time together then who knows where this could go?

Tendou kissed down his neck, and did Oikawa feel the bagel rubbing against his cheek? This was laying it on a little thick, but he weirdly wasn’t hating it, so he didn’t tell him to stop. 

The bagel dragged down his chest, following Tendou’s smirk.  _ I’m never going the hear the end of this, but it was his idea!  _ With deft hands, Tendou unbuttoned and pulled down Oikawa’s pants and underwear all at once so he could get a full view of the hard dick waiting for its bagel. 

Tendou rubbed the bagel against Oikawa’s dick which bobbed in delight at the attention. 

“Hello to you too!” He gave it a quick peck and looked up at Oikawa through bright red eyelashes with a grin. “I think I’ll suck your cock for a little bit and then fuck you with the bagel. How does that sound?”

Oikawa took a deep breath, his cheeks flushing again at the mention of the bagel. He mumbled his acquiescence, more out of embarrassment rather than unwillingness. 

“Okay, let me know if you want me to stop atany time!” 

With that, Tendou rubbed his cheek and nose against Oikawa’s dick until he came to the tip where he licked it like one of the confections he created in class. He took it in his mouth lowering his head down the entire length. Oikawa groaned, making Tendou hum in satisfaction. 

As Tendou worked up his speed, Oikawa leaned back on the counter, spreading his arms out. His hand landed on the bread plate and in embarrassment he pushed it away, focusing on the man bobbing up and down, working up a good bit of spit.

When he pulled away, Oikawa was almost sad. He was enjoying it, he could have come that way if Tendou had kept going and the man knew it. From the way Oikawa ended up grabbing his head to how his legs shook and the moans that escaped. Those dough-kneading hands held his legs in place and even grabbed at his ass a little, grounding him and adding to the sensation of getting the life sucked out of him through his dick.

But then it all stopped.

Tendou pulled away with a cheeky, sloppy grin as Oikawa whined. Having forgotten completely about the soon-to-be bread fucking that would begin. 

“Are you ready, Tooru?” His eyes twinkled as he shook the bagel. 

Oikawa’s throat went dry as he gave a little nod and then he felt a very tight piece of bread shoved onto his cock. It was almost like entering someone with no lube, maybe not as rough though. Bagels did have a pretty smooth skin and his dick was covered in spit. And then Tendou began to move the right bagel up and down. 

It wasn’t  terrible,  but it wasn’t milk bread either. What could compare to the soft pillowy insides of a loaf of milk bread? Could anything really? The cold exterior of the bagel, while tight, wasn’t exactly something he’d like to keep fucking at this point. He’d rather fuck the chef who made the bread instead. _God, his mouth was great._ That was really the only thing still keeping Oikawa hard.

Before he could even get the words out though, Tendou stopped, he could just tell.

He was just that good at reading people and that attentive in the bedroom. 

“We don’t—“

“C’mere.” Oikawa pulled him up to stand and kissed him. “I like that you tried.” He took the bagel out of his hand and tossed it in the trash. He never wanted to fuck bread again after that. “Let’s go to the bedroom.” 

...And that’s how Oikawa Tooru got over his bread kink. 


End file.
